The man (husband) hunt begins (began, goes on) with red roses…

I was raised in a moderately conservative Southeast Asian family. The only reason why this detail is important is that you will hear me talk a lot about introductions. SIngle people are quite often introduced to a suitor by friends, family, friends of friends, strangers, and psuedo match makers. This first meeting will often take place at your house, with your parents and any siblings there. Many of you may be shocked or horrified or just plain afraid  thinking of having to meet “the family” so soon. I think it’s a great way to see what everyone thinks about each other. After all, when you are in a serious relationship, you have to deal with family. Better to know from day 1, that fall in love with someone and only find out after that just how… well colorful their family is. Despite your reactions to my view and the idea of meeting the family from day 1, it’s another important detail for you to know so that my stories make more sense.

Everyone can remember the first person they dated and I can remember the first person i was introduced to. Not because it was so memorable (no offense to said guy) but because it was the first. I was still in college and home for the weekend. My parents said “friends” were coming over. My sixth sense said there was more to it than that.

When the guy, his Dad and brother arrived, my parents casually introduced me. There were red roses on the side table in the living room. My Mom smiled and told me “Those are for you!” She seemed overjoyed, after all what Mom doesn’t want her daughter to find someone great to be married to. Me, on the other hand, thought “this guy doesn’t know me, why on Earth woudl be bring red roses? Who does that? And frankly who cares?!!” and i said outloud “oh, really!” and turned to the guy and said “Thank you.” I really hope my face didn’t tell him what I was really thinking and probably not becase everyone smiled back and he said “you’re welcome.”

I didn’t engage in a conversation with this guy because 1. As open and honest i have always been, I tend to be shy with new people 2. The red roses gesture was like a thorn in my side, an unanswered question 3. I didn’t walk around looking and talking to guys only as possible husbands, and my actions reflected that.

When they left, my Mom seemed a little happier. She had a glimmer of hope in her eyes along with that anticipation yoiu have when you are waiting to hear back from a job you really want, or from a college you are dying to go to. I loved seeing that in her.

I never wondered what the guy had to say about me and meeting my family after that day but a long time after that my Mom told me what happened. The Dad spoke to my Dad (yes that happens a lot too) and said that they thought I was spoiled and that the son wouldn’t be able to afford the lifestyle I wanted. My Mom was just sad about it because they were “so nice” she said. I on the other hand thought “How do they know I’m spoiled? I didn’t do or say anything that a spoiled person would. And how judgemental! How judgemental of them!! They assume how I wanted to live and what I expected from a man without asking me a single question. Better to be without someone that insecure and superficial.” I was annoyed by their judgement because they hadn’t gotten to know me, to understand me. They just made a huge decision based on facts, like facts on a resume. I understand that finances effect relationships quite seriously, at the age of 21, well it was a blow to my optimistic self!

And that is how my road to meeting Mr. Right began. And somewhere along the way, it became a hunt, a non-stop search, dare I say an obsession. Not for me, but for everyone around me. Even strangers around me. How did this massive man hunt begin? It began well over a decade ago, well over it. How many frogs have I met… countless. And you are going to get to know so many of them, from the past and as they happen now.

To all of you searching, may your journey be entertaining if nothing more!

. So the first time i experienced this, I was still in college and my parents didn’t tell me what was happening. Although my sixth sense caught on right away.